Chapter 1: My Healing Journey

Reflecting on my path to recovery...

Last week, I made a pivotal choice that I had been postponing for far too long. I finally decided to take action and packed a few essentials into a makeshift travel bag, heading to visit my uncle's family in a nearby city.

In contrast, I had another uncle who lives so far away that a visit would be prohibitively expensive. Living with him had a profound impact on my self-esteem, making it difficult for me to communicate effectively with adults. However, I have always found it easier to connect with children, who seem to gravitate towards me wherever I go.

One of the lessons learned during my time with that uncle was the expectation to manage household chores and cater to adults' needs. It seems that my presence was somewhat appreciated, yet here, I feel accepted for simply being myself, without the need to fulfill those obligations.

The dynamics in this new environment are different; responsibilities are shared, and I don't sense any hierarchy based on family structure. Earlier this week, I confided in this uncle about feeling unwell, and he promptly ensured that I received the necessary medication until I recovered. In contrast, my previous uncle would have dismissed my ailments as exaggerated since I could still eat and wasn't visibly distressed.

His wife also noticed my disheveled appearance and offered to help with my hair at her salon, allowing me to put the expenses on her tab. I recall a frustrating moment with her during the holiday season when I expressed my desire to have my hair done. Though our disagreement was minimal, I struggled to voice my feelings, often resorting to tears instead of words.

Despite feeling loved and accepted, I grapple with deep-seated beliefs that tell me I am alone, that my life doesn't matter, and that I must earn affection through relentless effort. I was conditioned to speak only when prompted and to strive for perfection in all I do.

Even though I've distanced myself from that uncle, I still carry the emotional scars of a little girl who longed for love but often faced rejection. My surroundings may have shifted, and I've encountered new people, yet my internal narrative remains unchanged.

Before moving in with that uncle, I was vibrant, outspoken, and had a rich imagination, yet now I feel diminished. Someday, I hope to recount this chapter of my life without tears. Today, I may not be the accomplished university graduate or the aspiring author with two published books; rather, I feel like that little girl who deserved more love.

To anyone reading this, the first step toward healing is recognizing the brokenness within. I once believed that achieving wholeness was a task for young adults, but I've observed older individuals carrying unresolved wounds that adversely affect those around them.

I’ve come to understand that my uncle's intentions were never malicious; he simply lived according to what he learned, but that doesn’t negate the hurt experienced.

The second step in the healing process involves forgiving those who have caused you pain, regardless of whether they acknowledge their actions or apologize. Release them for your own healing.

The third step is to reparent yourself, which is a journey that takes time. This involves reshaping your mindset, re-evaluating your thought patterns, and addressing any gaps left unfilled during your upbringing.

While I don’t claim to be an expert in trauma or psychology, I am on a path of self-discovery and healing, and I believe my experiences provide valuable insights.

I hope this narrative offers you the light and encouragement needed to confront your own pain and work toward healing.

As a creative writer, I go by the pen name Bianca Foxx. If you found this story resonant, please give it 50 claps to help spread the message. I would also love to hear your thoughts in the comments below—let's keep the conversation alive.

Chapter 2: Insights from Healing Videos

Understanding rejection trauma can be a crucial step in the healing process.

The first video titled MY PARENTS DON'T LOVE ME: How to Recover From Parental Rejection by Wu Wei Wisdom discusses methods to cope with feelings of abandonment and strategies to rebuild self-worth.

Additionally, the video 7 SIGNS YOU HAVE REJECTION TRAUMA by Dr. Kim Sage outlines key indicators that may suggest one is grappling with the effects of rejection.