A Prayer Answered

The next morning, I settled on the sofa with my coffee and checked my emails. To my surprise, I found a book excerpt from Matt Kahn, an intuitive empath, titled All For Love — The Transformative Power of Holding Space. Chapter three was focused on reverence, defined as a profound respect for others.

As I read, tears welled up in my eyes as I felt the universe had responded to my plea. I now held the key to becoming the person I wished to be. Here are some poignant lines I highlighted:

"By embracing reverence, you respect each individual’s journey through their pain. Instead of perceiving someone’s discomfort as a situation that requires rescuing, you gain a deeper understanding of their personal transitions as they navigate their growth."

On some level, I had always known this, but framing it with the concept of reverence struck a chord. Reverence brings to mind the act of bowing to the Divine in each person we meet, invoking a sense of awe when we recognize the Divine's presence in their struggles. When we can reconceptualize both our challenges and those of others as part of the Divine process, the need to rescue dissipates.

Kahn elaborates:

"Through the lens of reverence, you may discover a profound truth: No one requires different circumstances; they simply need greater support for their current experiences. The only thing you can alter is the amount of love you choose to offer."

This is the essence of being the person I strive to be amidst others’ suffering—simply providing support and love. This approach excludes giving unsolicited advice or spiraling into anxiety about the potential consequences of not intervening. It’s about creating space for their experiences while offering my compassion and presence.

Even in moments when we are apart from someone who is struggling, we can still extend our love and support through our reverence for their journey.

"Through reverence, you can send waves of support to someone in need simply by acknowledging the strength they are building as they endure their healing process."

I appreciate how Kahn emphasizes that struggle can lead to healing. My own life has shown me that the most challenging times often yield the most significant transformations. When we view others’ struggles as part of their healing journey, our compulsion to rescue them diminishes. They don’t need saving from their healing; they need our support as they go through it.

I Am Here With You

Frequently, the most comforting thing a person in distress needs to hear is, “I am here with you.” Even if we are not physically present, we can still send our support through prayer.

Kahn states, “When ‘I am here with you’ replaces ‘I am here to save you’ or the self-righteous ‘Here’s what I would do if I were you,’ you empower others to feel worthy of being seen and heard, even when they wish to retreat.”

“Through reverence, you will recognize the true value of others by highlighting the strength, character, and determination it takes for them to endure each moment.”

In essence, we should seek ways to honor their experiences instead of labeling them as incorrect and rushing to fix them.

Setting an Intention for Reverence

I want to evolve into a better person. I aim to create an environment that nurtures, heals, and supports those in pain. To achieve this, I must set an intention to foster reverence, observing others’ journeys with admiration and respect while acknowledging their strength, even if they cannot see it themselves.

Matt Kahn offers this prayer to help release feelings of self-righteousness:

“I intend to hold space through reverence for myself and others, free from judgment or controlling behaviors. I welcome reverence from a place of openness and grace, as a gift of perspective for everyone’s well-being. I recognize my tendency to try to alter someone’s experience, including my own, as a response to trauma during the healing process. I accept that this instinct arises from a sense of helplessness, which heals as I embrace being helpful, regardless of how significant or minor my contribution may seem. Understanding that heart-centered companionship is my way to support myself and those I love during tough times, I release all tendencies toward righteousness, no matter how well-intentioned they may appear.”

When our ego convinces us that our self-righteousness is merely a form of help, we often end up causing more harm than good. We’ve all experienced this, either as the doer or the recipient. No amount of good intentions can change that fact.

By holding space for others without self-righteousness, judgment, or an urge to rescue, I also heal myself. I learn to relinquish control. I learn to embrace the complexities of human existence without labeling them as wrong. I can be supportive without attempting to change anything, simply by being present. When I let go of judgment, I feel better about myself, and it enhances my compassion for others.

I will recite this intention daily as I guide myself toward my goals. This will undoubtedly be a lifelong journey, but with each act of practicing reverence, I will improve. Imagine a world where everyone could honor themselves and others in their respective journeys. It would be a more compassionate place. I will do my part to cultivate kindness in my surroundings by embracing reverence for others' experiences and relinquishing the urge to rescue everyone.

May it be so.