Chapter 1: Understanding Goodness and Strength

The concept of good versus evil is widely discussed; it's generally accepted that being good is preferable. However, a common misconception is that goodness equates to being nice to everyone at all times. This was a mistake I made in the past, attempting to be a good person by always being kind.

This approach has a significant flaw: it does not encourage others to behave appropriately around you. While some individuals will reciprocate your kindness, others may not. If you continuously treat those who are disrespectful with kindness, you inadvertently give them no incentive to change their behavior.

Beyond just good and evil, there exists another spectrum: strong versus weak. Strong evil individuals are particularly harmful, as they will destroy anything that obstructs their goals. Conversely, weak evil individuals tend to be bothersome; they are often bitter and self-loathing yet lack the initiative to change their circumstances.

Weak good individuals can coexist peacefully with others who share their values; they thrive in positive environments. However, when a weak good person encounters a strong evil person, they may find themselves overwhelmed and could even become a weak evil person, succumbing to feelings of helplessness.

It is far more beneficial to embody the qualities of a strong good person. Cultivating the capability to defend yourself and others is vital. This doesn't mean you should seek conflict; rather, learn how to defend yourself effectively, so you can choose to de-escalate situations rather than react violently.

Recently, I began attending self-defense classes that focus on not just blocking attacks but also delivering effective counter-strikes. In a genuine threat, a pre-emptive strike can be a legitimate form of self-defense; waiting for an aggressor to strike first can put you at a severe disadvantage.

My intention is never to provoke a fight. However, by practicing combat techniques in a secure setting, I build the confidence that I can protect myself if necessary.

Psychologically, the same principles apply. It's essential to be kind to those who are kind in return, and to avoid instigating conflict. Yet when faced with antagonism, you must assertively set boundaries, firmly stating, “You've crossed a line. Now, please leave me alone.”

Confronting issues promptly is crucial. Delaying action can lead to two negative outcomes: the other person may continue to test your limits, or unresolved feelings may bubble up inside you, leading to resentment. This can manifest as passive-aggressive behavior or even hostility towards those who are less powerful or yourself.

Always refrain from becoming a bully, but equally, never allow yourself to be bullied.

Chapter 2: Insights from Influential Voices

In her talk, Brené Brown discusses the importance of recognizing that the opinions of critics are not what truly defines us. Understanding this can empower individuals to focus on their self-worth rather than external validation.

Willem Dafoe's message about embracing failure encourages us to abandon the pursuit of perfection. Accepting our flaws can lead to personal growth and resilience.