Chapter 1: Understanding Lesser Losses

This piece is dedicated to those who tend to take life's minor setbacks too personally.

Photo by Ernest Porzi on Unsplash

Life is filled with disappointments. Plans fall through, illness strikes at inconvenient times, flights get canceled, and dream jobs disappear. Imagine your car breaking down on the highway, receiving a painful rejection letter, or losing your license after a speeding incident. Maybe your business faces unexpected challenges, or you stumble during an important presentation. Even a broken bone can leave you bedridden for a while. I refer to these occurrences as "lesser losses"—a term I created to encapsulate the various disappointments that aren’t life-threatening or dangerous. If you’re still breathing after a setback, I categorize it as a lesser loss. Another defining trait is that these losses can cloud your judgment and perception while they occur. And why wouldn’t they? No one enjoys facing adversity. It can be overwhelmingly crushing, leaving you feeling immobilized and helpless—unless, of course, you possess an exceptionally resilient mindset.

In the aftermath of these lesser losses, we often find ourselves grappling for answers. The immediate question arises: Why did this happen to me? We may analyze the situation, concluding that it stems from something we did or didn't do. Perhaps you didn’t wake up early, failed to plan your day effectively, or didn’t put in enough effort. Maybe you made poor decisions or acted carelessly. You might even feel inadequate in some way. Our instinctive reaction is to dissect what went wrong and assign blame to ourselves or others, seeking to regain control and accountability. This process is a way to restore a sense of order in our lives, even if it feels superficial.

As humans, we crave answers. We want our lives to have meaning and logic. We dislike feeling powerless and insignificant. But what if we considered that we were never truly in control of our circumstances? What if events unfold as they are meant to, irrespective of our desires? Our culture often promotes the notion that “I am the architect of my destiny.” Admitting that sometimes we lack complete answers feels unfashionable. Yet, what if it’s simply impossible for anyone to mitigate the impact of the ‘lesser loss’ heading our way? Intimidating? Certainly, for those prone to anxiety. Liberating? Yes, if you adopt a more relaxed outlook, like I do.

Believing that certain things lie beyond our control can help us cope better with lesser losses. This perspective allows for a moment of reflection and a shift in attitude in response to disappointment. Is this viewpoint a form of escapism? A passive approach to life? The goal isn’t to shirk responsibility when faced with a challenge. It’s not about absolving yourself of accountability for your actions. It’s essential to recognize that despite our best efforts, life will inevitably present us with challenges that destabilize us—often without a clear reason. When life takes its course, there’s little we can do except accept both the good and the bad with gratitude and recalibrate our responses.

If nothing is under my control, what does that mean for my existence? Do we merely float through life like a dandelion seed carried by the wind? You might think that accepting this 'destiny theory' equates to embracing fatalism. It could seem as if you’re resigned to live in fear of predestined events. However, that's far from the truth. While you may be a small part of a larger system, your role is crucial in keeping the engine running. In essence, your presence and efforts do matter.

When faced with a lesser loss, it’s important to acknowledge and accept it, taking action to move forward meaningfully. You must do what is necessary to keep life moving ahead.

So, the next time I encounter a ‘lesser loss,’ my aim is to spend less time wallowing in sorrow and more time actively turning my situation around. After all, I’m still here, aren’t I? Do you subscribe to this ‘destiny theory’? Or do you believe you navigate your path in life? I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments below!

Chapter 2: Exploring Resilience

In this live performance of "Not You" by Alan Walker and Emma Steinbakken, the artists convey profound emotions that resonate with the theme of acceptance in the face of challenges.

The lyrical version of "Not You" offers a deeper understanding of the sentiments behind lesser losses, encouraging listeners to find strength amidst adversity.