What is the inner child?

The inner child represents the younger version of yourself, often neglected as we grow older. While some individuals enjoy a carefree childhood, others may carry emotional wounds or trauma into adulthood. When we suppress unresolved issues from our past, they can surface in unexpected ways, causing reactions that seem exaggerated compared to the situation at hand.

In these moments, your inner child might be seeking recognition and validation, throwing a metaphorical tantrum that manifests as feelings of overwhelm or frustration.

The BEAR Model Explained

Our past experiences shape the beliefs we hold about ourselves and the world. These beliefs can be empowering or limiting. The BEAR model illustrates how our beliefs influence our thoughts, which then elicit feelings and drive our actions.

When we react in a triggered state, our inner child often plays a role in how we interpret and respond to events around us.

Beliefs fuel our thoughts, and with an average of 60,000 to 70,000 thoughts daily, many of these are automatic, often reflecting previous negative experiences. Such persistent negative thinking can lead to a cycle of negative emotions and actions, reinforcing limiting beliefs.

As Johann Wolfgang von Goethe once said, "A man sees in the world what he carries in his heart."

Recognizing Your Inner Child

Research shows that your automatic thoughts are a reflection of your inner child. By observing these thoughts, you can begin to identify and acknowledge your inner child's presence.

Two Modes of Existence

Life is not solely about reacting from a childlike state. There are moments when we feel calm and in control—this is what we call "adult mode." In this state, we can process information objectively and maintain composure, even when faced with unexpected challenges.

However, the frequency and intensity of feeling triggered varies from person to person, often influenced by unresolved issues from the past. For those frequently experiencing triggers, it's essential to explore methods for self-soothing and healing.

Transitioning to the Adult Mode

By embodying the adult mode, we can work to transform our negative automatic thoughts into more positive ones. This shift can lead to enhanced emotional well-being and a more fulfilling life.

“It’s not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters.” - Epictetus

Healing Your Inner Child

There are many strategies for soothing your inner child, but one particularly intriguing method involves externalization. This technique encourages you to focus on the trigger itself rather than the past memories it evokes.

Imagine your reaction to a triggering event is your inner child expressing itself. Visualize placing this inner child in a chair beside you.

Consider the child's age and feelings. What does it need to hear from you? This dialogue aims to reassure your inner child, allowing it to calm down and help you transition back into adult mode where you can think more clearly and solve problems effectively.

Summary and Final Thoughts

Feeling triggered often indicates that your inner child is surfacing, linked to the negative beliefs formed through past experiences. By employing techniques such as externalization, you can soothe your inner child and reduce instances of being triggered.

Ultimately, embodying your adult mode enables you to challenge negative beliefs and cultivate a positive mindset, leading to a more satisfying life without excessive emotional turmoil.

What are your thoughts on this perspective of the inner child? Do you think externalization could be an effective strategy for healing? Feel free to share your insights in the comments below or connect with me on social media!

Thank you for reading! I hope you found valuable insights in this article as you embark on your healing journey.

Disclaimer: This article is for educational purposes only. Please seek professional assistance if needed.

Bio

Jelena is a former academic researcher with a Master’s degree in Health Care Management. She now writes about self-improvement, mental health, and productivity, aiming to empower others to overcome their challenges and thrive.