The Rise of Outrageous Holiday Wishlists Among Adults
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Chapter 1: The Wishlist Dilemma
The trend of adults sharing gift wishlists during the holidays seems to have spiraled out of control. I can't help but wonder if I'm the only one who feels this way. In my family, we engage in the tradition of exchanging lists, and over the years, I've received some rather peculiar requests.
Currently, there hasn't been any mention of wishlist exchanges, and I'm cautiously hoping it stays that way. The worst part isn't the early requests; it's the relatives who wait until just a week before Christmas to send their lists. By that point, online shopping options are dwindling, and the best deals are long gone.
Growing up, my family never partook in adult wishlists. Children would write to Santa, but the adults never dared to ask for gifts. Our gifts typically consisted of modest items like Hickory Farms gift baskets, inexpensive chocolates, and occasionally, handmade scarves. Large presents were not part of our tradition.
In contrast, my in-laws have a very different approach to holiday gifting. The focus has always been on adults receiving gifts too, sometimes even more extravagant ones. Requests have included everything from firearms to gaming systems, stoves, specific food items, and clothing with sizes.
These are grown individuals with jobs, so it's baffling that they expect gifts from my husband and me, which they can easily purchase for themselves.
Even I have succumbed to the wishlist custom and have sent my own lists over the years, often including practical items like gift cards. Yet, each year, I receive odd gifts like lingerie (a not-so-subtle hint from my mother-in-law) and diet books, alongside a plethora of trinkets I have no use for.
It's interesting to note that there are entire websites, such as Giftster, dedicated to creating and sharing wishlists. Last year, I attempted to have a no-gift Christmas, which was met with resistance and complaints. Ultimately, everyone went ahead and bought us gifts anyway, and none of them came with receipts for returns.
After some research, I was able to return one item, salvaging $50 on a gift that would have sat unused in my basement. Consequently, I've learned to accept the situation. A few days post-Christmas, I typically make my annual trip to Goodwill to donate unwanted gifts, marking another year of frustration.
I often find myself wishing for cash instead, but asking for it feels too rude. Many people could use the money more than yet another waffle maker.
As a public service announcement for the holidays: adults should really stop exchanging wishlists. This madness needs to end. I would much prefer a Yankee Swap or a name-drawing event.
Interestingly, my mother-in-law is very enthusiastic about gift exchanges. She often says, "Jesus is the reason for the season," but simultaneously revels in the act of giving. Thus, we continue to participate, as she becomes quite upset if gifts aren't exchanged.
Through my experiences over the past two decades, I've learned that the people in our lives matter far more than material possessions. It seems this lesson hasn't quite resonated with her yet, even at 80 years of age.
Adults Have Too Much Stuff Already
My home is currently overflowing, and I've been making a concerted effort to declutter by throwing things away and donating items. According to USA Today, we all could benefit from having fewer possessions.
"I think it amounts to a lot of crap that people don't need," remarked Kathryn Jezer-Morton, an American writer residing in Montreal. "We've been saying this for years to our extended families at Christmas."
She isn't alone in this sentiment. A 2016 ING study found that 70% of Americans believe Christmas has become too centered around spending, yet the expectation to spend continues to rise. A writer for Slate also argues that adults have accumulated too much stuff, and it's time for a change.
I share this perspective to illustrate the challenges my family faces regarding holiday gifting. We're not the only ones with such struggles. Many letters I've read in Slate's Dear Prudence column this year highlight similar dilemmas: a woman grappling with the need to forgive her abusive parents while feeling pressured to buy them gifts, a wife whose husband demands expensive presents she cannot afford, and a twenty-something frustrated that her detailed wishlist is ignored.
It's clear how absurd this situation has become. Therefore, I propose that we stop exchanging gifts among adults this year. By all means, let's continue giving presents to children—they don’t have jobs, they can't buy their own gifts, and they genuinely appreciate everything!
Gift-Giving Creates Financial Stress
Beyond the clutter and unwanted items, gift-giving induces significant financial anxiety. Imagine holidays liberated from the stress of buying for an extensive list of relatives, the worry that your gift won't match the value of what you receive, and the burden of unwanted items that result from well-meaning but misguided gift choices.
What if we all simply gathered to enjoy a meal together, setting aside this exhausting ritual of overspending and mental strain, often concluding with gifts we didn’t desire?
Gifts Can Be Passive-Aggressive
This is a particularly frustrating aspect for me. I've received my fair share of passive-aggressive gifts, and there’s no polite way to express gratitude for them.
One year, I was given a diet book by a friend who was overly concerned about my health. Another time, I received sugar-free candy from someone who assumed I was diabetic. The list goes on, including numerous regifts, some still wrapped in original packaging.
In another instance, my cousin was gifted maternity clothes by her mother-in-law, who was eagerly hoping for a grandchild.
If you find yourself exchanging gifts with someone known for passive-aggressive tendencies, consider some humorous ways to return the favor this year.
Can We Just Focus on Happiness?
Ultimately, shouldn’t we prioritize spending quality time with family and friends? In the end, material possessions do not bring happiness. I'd rather have my departed relatives back than receive another useless item.
When I reflect on the holidays of my youth, I remember the joy of being with loved ones, savoring my grandma's cookies, and playing board games—rather than fixating on the material gifts, which are long forgotten. The memories of those cherished moments endure far longer than any physical gift ever could.
Explore creative and budget-friendly Christmas gift ideas in this video, showcasing 50 gift and wishlist suggestions under $100 for the holiday season.
Discover a range of thoughtful Christmas wishlist ideas for young adults in their 20s, perfect for making gift-giving easier and more meaningful.