Chapter 1: Understanding Betrayal

What should you do when someone you once trusted turns against you?

I once had a close friend, someone I grew up with and held in high regard. For a long time, I thought he felt the same way about me. That was until a few weeks ago when everything changed.

As is often the case with childhood friendships, we gradually drifted apart as we pursued different paths in life, attending different universities. We hadn’t spoken in nearly two years when he reached out, seemingly in need of financial assistance. Initially, I believed I was helping a friend in distress, but it soon became clear that he had ulterior motives, attempting to exploit my goodwill for a scam. This breach of trust not only hurt me but also put me in a vulnerable position.

The realization of his betrayal left me feeling deeply wounded. Over time, that hurt morphed into anger and frustration. Even as I recount this experience, I feel that anger rise again. This was a person I cared about, someone I thought valued our friendship, and I felt foolish for trusting him.

I found myself waiting for an apology, hoping he would recognize his mistakes and seek forgiveness. But that moment never came. Instead, I watched him continue his life on social media as if nothing had happened.

Betrayal isn't limited to friendships; it can occur in any close relationship. We all eventually face some form of deceit from those we care about—whether in romantic partnerships, family dynamics, or professional settings. Even infrequent betrayals can severely undermine our ability to trust others.

The natural impulse is often to confront the betrayer, expressing how their actions have hurt you, hoping they will feel remorse. But what does that really accomplish? The feelings of anger and sadness may linger regardless of their response. Even if you receive an apology, how genuine can it be?

When someone chooses to betray you, they've typically reconciled with their actions long before they involve you. For many, the betrayal doesn’t weigh on their conscience, and they move on with their lives, often forgetting the pain they've caused.

So, what comes next? Are we simply expected to forgive and forget? This experience has taught me a vital lesson: while you can't control how others treat you, you can dictate your own responses.

This doesn’t necessarily mean to "forgive and forget," but it does involve allowing yourself to heal. It’s about acknowledging that you don't have to carry those painful emotions forever. It’s perfectly acceptable to let go.

I wish I could share how I’ve successfully moved past this situation, but the truth is, I'm still grappling with these feelings. I still hurt, and I know that forgiveness is a journey I’m not yet ready to undertake.

For me, forgiveness is essential for letting go. It signifies coming to terms with the betrayal without allowing it to overshadow my life. It’s not about excusing the wrongs committed against me, but rather finding peace that enables me to move forward.

If you're not ready to forgive yet, that’s completely fine. Self-awareness is key in these moments. Recognizing your feelings and understanding their origins can provide clarity and a fresh perspective.

A wise therapist once mentioned that emotions like anger and rage are often secondary feelings, triggered by deeper sentiments. What lies beneath your anger? Gaining insight into your emotions is crucial as you contemplate your next steps.

"The best revenge is to not do as they do."

—Marcus Aurelius

Chapter 2: Finding Healing and Moving On

In this video, "How to Deal With Betrayal and Take Your Power Back," Mel Robbins discusses practical strategies to reclaim your strength after experiencing betrayal.

Eckhart Tolle's teachings in "How to Deal With Betrayal" offer profound insights on embracing forgiveness and understanding your emotions in the aftermath of being hurt.