Chapter 1: The Weight of Expectations

As a child immersed in the world of competitive swimming, I can relate to the feelings of pressure that athletes face. My college coach would often remind me, “When you start to feel fatigued, you need to push through.” That day was particularly grueling; we endured ten sets of 100-yard sprints with only a mere ten seconds of rest. By the fifth set, my body was screaming for oxygen as lactic acid built up in my muscles.

Little did he know, swimming was not just a sport for me; it was my entire identity. I dedicated countless hours to training, striving to become an elite athlete. Yet, despite my efforts, it often felt like my best was never enough. Many people, including my coach, fail to grasp the true exhaustion that comes with competitive swimming. On paper, the schedule sounds daunting: ten workouts a week alongside academic commitments. But the real fatigue is something that can only be felt firsthand, weighing down your eyelids like heavy weights.

In class, I mastered the art of appearing engaged while secretly fighting off sleep, resting my head on one hand while scribbling notes with the other. It was bewildering to finish a large meal only to feel hungry again just two hours later. The only silver lining? Despite consuming an endless array of snacks and meals, I still woke up with abs. But in the grand scheme of things, the sacrifices didn’t seem worth it.

As the Olympics draw near, conversations surrounding the mental health of athletes have gained momentum. Michael Phelps has been candid about his struggles with depression, as has his successor, Caeleb Dressel, who took a year off to focus on his mental well-being. Their experiences, while unique, echo the challenges many of us face in different forms.

In the video titled Michael Phelps reflects on depression and mental health: 'I saw it as a sign of weakness', Phelps shares his journey of overcoming mental health challenges, shedding light on the struggles athletes face behind the scenes.

Chapter 2: Defining Yourself Beyond Your Sport

Growing up, I was practically born into water. My parents met on a swim team and were both athletes in college. Every time I attempted to step away from the pool, I felt an undeniable pull back to it. My forays into basketball or soccer were less than successful, but returning to the water felt like reuniting with an old friend.

However, the expectations were immense. At social gatherings, neighbors would ask if I was aiming for the Olympics, while strangers would compliment my swimming skills. While these comments could be flattering, they shaped my self-image and created a sense of obligation to fulfill these expectations.

I still remember the embarrassment of losing my first significant race at age ten. The shame was palpable, and I felt like I had disappointed everyone on the ride home. The pressure on elite athletes is unimaginable, culminating in events that determine their futures in mere minutes.

It was only years later, through cognitive behavioral therapy, that I began to understand the importance of forming a healthy self-identity. Research from Dr. Walter Bonime at NYU suggests that when individuals fail to accept themselves, they often pursue achievements to mask feelings of inadequacy. This cycle can provide temporary relief but ultimately leads to the resurgence of those same insecurities.

Michael Phelps and many other accomplished individuals have grappled with this notion, only to realize they are far more than their achievements. UFC champion Dustin Poirier recently reflected on his own struggles with identity as he nears the end of his fighting career, emphasizing the journey of self-discovery beyond the sport.

In the video What Michael Phelps Can Teach Us About Mental Health, we explore the valuable lessons from Phelps’ journey and how athletes can navigate their mental health challenges.

Chapter 3: The Power of Perspective

Through my personal growth journey, I learned that many of my worries were overly narrow. What once felt crucial often appeared trivial in hindsight. Yes, I was a decent swimmer, but I was no Olympic hopeful. I had other roles: a student, a son, a friend. Eventually, I discovered my passion for writing, a path I would never have anticipated during my swimming days.

I once asked a therapist how to define myself when society often labels us in a singular way. Her response was simple yet profound: “You define yourself.” This reminder of personal autonomy was empowering.

It’s essential to recognize that these journeys can feel isolating. In sports, we often find ourselves in a constant comparison game. Throughout my lengthy swimming career, I can’t recall the names of those I routinely beat, but I vividly remember those who surpassed me.

While I admire the talent of others, I don’t envy the accompanying pressure. Most individuals have a passion or talent that defines them, but life can take these away unexpectedly. If you find yourself feeling adrift, take a moment to reflect on all the facets that make you who you are. Embracing both your strengths and weaknesses can significantly reduce daily stress and contribute to long-term happiness.

In my experience, I’ve learned to appreciate my talents and resist the urge to compare myself to others. Remember, you are a multifaceted individual with many unique qualities. Embrace them and cherish your journey.