Chapter 1: The Experience of Double Scrub

As the sun dipped below the horizon on March 27, 2022, I found myself in a reflective mood. The gentle wind was a welcome companion as I donned a light sweater to ward off the chill. Yesterday marked the beginning of my journey with "Double Scrub," an intensive cleaning process that serves as a hands-on introduction to a transformative program I am part of.

What exactly is Double Scrub, you may wonder?

The last Saturday of every month is reserved for a comprehensive spring cleaning session, where the entire house undergoes a thorough scrub-down. This isn't your average tidying up; it’s an intense, all-encompassing cleaning event, hence the name—everything must be double scrubbed.

E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G… E-V-E-R-Y-W-H-E-R-E…

Each member is assigned specific areas of the house, and when I glanced at the chore list, I was assigned the kitchen—a rather vast space shared with a housemate who had just joined us. The kitchen itself is expansive, inclusive of a dining area, and the list of tasks appeared daunting:

• Clean the refrigerator inside and out
• Pull it from the wall for a thorough clean
• Tackle the stove, oven, and microwave
• Scrub cabinets, countertops, floors, and windows

It was an overwhelming list, but I thought, “My housemate and I can manage this.” Then, I spotted my name next to two additional rooms: my bedroom and the guest bathroom.

The reality of the situation hit hard.

My bedroom is filled with two bunk beds, multiple dressers, and a lengthy closet. The guest bathroom boasts a double sink vanity and a shower-tub combo. To top it off, we also had to clear out the backyard, removing debris and weeds.

Feeling slightly daunted but determined, we decided to start our cleaning spree after the children were tucked in for the night. My partner took on the kitchen while I managed my two rooms. By midnight, exhaustion set in. The scent of cleaning products lingered in the air, and every muscle ached.

You might be wondering, “Is she really going to share how she cleaned during this Double Scrub event?”

No, I’m not here to recount the cleaning methods; rather, I want to share how this experience profoundly cleansed my spirit.

As I scrubbed the floorboards, deep in contemplation, I realized how seldom I’ve looked inward to confront my own emotional mess. Although I’ve engaged in shadow work, true introspection has often eluded me. I’ve had fleeting moments of acknowledgment and processing but lacked the time to heal from my past experiences.

While cleaning the bathroom, an old fear began to surface—a performance-driven anxiety that gripped me tightly. I was scrubbing furiously, feeling tense and scared.

Why was I feeling this way?

It dawned on me as I found myself cleaning the walls instead of the floor. I paused, wiping sweat from my forehead and opening the window for fresh air.

In that moment of clarity, I understood: “You won’t be thrown out for not cleaning perfectly.”

Staring into the mirror, I had an epiphany: my worth isn’t tied to my cleaning skills. This realization prompted me to delve deeper into my past, uncovering memories that had long been buried.

I recalled a recurring vision from my childhood—a large, shadowy figure that instilled fear in me. I shared this with my mother when I was around eleven. After much contemplation, she revealed that the figure represented my father, who had long struggled with his feelings about my existence.

As a “preemie,” I spent extra days in the hospital, and my father had been upset upon discovering I was a girl. His disappointment echoed throughout my life, leaving me feeling worthless.

In that bathroom, I allowed the tears to flow. I wept for the girl I once was, for my mother, and even for my father.

“I’m sorry, Daddy,” I whispered as I looked at my reflection.

I vowed to change the narrative of my life. I am worthy, I am enough, and I will embrace my journey of healing.

Now, with renewed determination, I returned to scrubbing the wall.

At the dawn of this new chapter in my life, I affirmed: I AM MORE THAN GOOD ENOUGH! I will scrub my way toward healing.

p.s.: We passed the cleaning evaluation with flying colors! Our case manager praised our efforts.

p.s.s.: As the sun set, painting the sky in hues of orange and yellow, I celebrated my fiftieth birthday. Being present in this moment, grounded within myself, is truly the best gift I could ever receive.

Happy Birthday, Asha. YOU MADE IT… I’M PROUD OF YOU!

©2022, Asha Carraway

Chapter 2: Insights from Cleaning

In this video, we take a closer look at the new Men's Biore Double Scrub Facial Foam, exploring its features and benefits. This product emphasizes the importance of deep cleansing for skin health.

Chapter 3: The Art of Scrubbing

This tutorial demonstrates the brush-stroke method used in surgical scrubbing, highlighting the essential techniques for effective cleaning in a medical context.